{"id":51863,"date":"2013-11-23T11:30:42","date_gmt":"2013-11-23T16:30:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/?p=51863"},"modified":"2013-11-22T16:45:53","modified_gmt":"2013-11-22T21:45:53","slug":"shine-on-shine-on","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/?p=51863","title":{"rendered":"Shine on, shine on\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"krueger,<\/a>Cazenovia Curmudgeon<\/p>\n

By Donald Kruger<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

(Cazenovia, NY) In the bright light thus cast, I have a question for readers who, by the way, I\u2019m sure are as delighted as I am to again have in our hands these pages of real paper to turn and printer\u2019s ink to smell, no batteries required.<\/p>\n

My question concerns two books that have been on the Times\u2019 best-seller lists for way too many weeks \u2013 at this writing, one for 154 weeks, the other for 53. And wouldn\u2019t you know it? They both describe visits to heaven.<\/p>\n

Near-death experiences, so-called.<\/p>\n

The one, now an almost three-year best-seller, is \u201cHeaven is Real: A Little Boy\u2019s Astounding Story of his Trip to Heaven & Back.\u201d It\u2019s by Todd Burpo with [Sarah Palin\u2019s ghost writer] Lynn Vincent, as told to them by Todd\u2019s son Colton. Published \u2013 I\u2019m tempted to say, \u2018of course\u2019 \u2013 by Thomas Nelson. Not just \u201castounding,\u201d but \u201cbreathtaking,\u201d too, says the jacket blurb.<\/p>\n

The story\u2019s introductory quotation, from the New Testament, one of Jesus\u2019s sayings, \u201cI tell you the truth, unless you change ad become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,\u201d sets the tone for believing the kid\u2019s story.<\/p>\n

Or not.<\/p>\n

At the time of telling, Colton Burpo is 3 years old, going on 4. It follows his hospital story and surgeries for a ruptured appendix plus serious complications.<\/p>\n

Lots of anesthetics and assorted drugs.<\/p>\n

Colton says, \u201cI died, but just for a little bit.\u201d Skeptics will say his visit to heaven\u00a0 was simply a medication, anesthetics especially, -induced hallucination. I know I had some \u201castounding\u201d ones, albeit more adult than Colton\u2019s, following open heart surgery. Quite real-seeming at the time.<\/p>\n

Dad Todd says Colton isn\u2019t making up the story of his experience in heaven: he tells of things that a 3-year-old wouldn\u2019t know about. Maybe, but\u2026 Todd Burpo is pastor of the Crossroads Wesleyan Church in Imperial, Neb. Sounds Methodist, but more likely it\u2019s one of those off-brand evangelical denominations. As described, the Burpos seem to be a hyper-religious family. Bible stories read to Colton every night at bedtime. Pleasant dreams. Sunday school. Religious pictures on the wall. Two services on Sundays. Wednesday night services. Youth meetings. Lots of prayers.<\/p>\n

No escaping it all.<\/p>\n

Little Colton probably has no friends whose parents are not part of the scene.<\/p>\n

Colton makes friends in heaven \u2013 friends from his children\u2019s bible stories and pictures. Sits in Jesus\u2019s lap. Meets Jesus\u2019s cousin, John the Baptist. And the virgin Mary, who acts like a \u2013 Jewish? \u2013 mother toward Jesus. Jesus has marks on his hands and tops of his feet, per the pictures. Never mind that the Roman\u2019s drove the nails at the wrists: hands would not support a body\u2019s weight. Everyone, except God and Jesus, has wings; Colton sports a small pair.<\/p>\n

Everyone is dressed in white. Jesus wears a purple sash. God is larger than the others and sits on a larger throne than Jesus\u2019s and the Holy Spirit\u2019s. Colton has a little difficulty describing the Holy Spirit: \u201cHmm\u2026 That\u2019s kind of a hard one \u2026 he\u2019s kind of blue.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so it goes.<\/p>\n

Golden gates of heaven, studded with pearls. Never gets dark.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s where all the rainbow colors are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Speaking of which \u2026 Colton is home after hospital and heaven. One day, a rainbow appears in a cloudless, rainless sky.<\/p>\n

\u201cCool. I prayed for that yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n

Colton is now 12 and, besides church and school, is busy with the \u201c\u2026franchise.\u201d Publisher Thomas Nelson has brought out a children\u2019s Colton-visits-heaven book \u2026 with Colton-approved pictures; already a best-seller. Columbia will release a movie in 2014. He and his parents do the lecture and talk-show circuit. Maybe next a boy-preacher gig? TV and camp meetings?<\/p>\n

You know, Colton could make an argument for reincarnation, more than a mere boy heaven-visitor. Reincarnation, say, of Marjoe Gortner, one-time child evangelist. Grew up to blow the whistle on the whole televangelist $cene. An Oscar-winning documentary with Marjoe as himself. Could be more profitable than book royalties.<\/p>\n

I know. I\u2019m a cynic. But borrow or rent the movie: \u201cMarjoe,\u201d (1972), directed by Howard Smith. See for yourself. Leonard Maltin says, \u201cMarjoe himself is likable enough.\u201d Gives the movie two-and-a-half stars.<\/p>\n

Colton Burpo\u2019s story \u2013 his bland and boring heaven \u2013 we can pass off as childhood fantasy, merely parroting children\u2019s religious story-picture books. Different and more interesting \u2013 and more adult \u2013 is Ebon Alexander\u2019s \u201cProof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon\u2019s Journey into the Afterlife,\u201d published by Simon & Schuster, 2012, for sure not Thomas Nelson.<\/p>\n

Fifty-three weeks and counting on the best-seller list. More variety in his version of heaven. He\u2019s in a coma; clinically dead for a week\u2026 but\u2026<\/p>\n

Dead or not, he at first finds himself in a seriously unpleasant, yucky, mucky place. But he sees a bright light above, toward which he rises out of the brown muck \u2026 accompanied by beautiful music. He comes to a lush, green place with people in peasant garb, dogs playing. Then he\u2019s flying on the wings of a giant butterfly, surrounded by hundreds of other butterflies. And the good part, there\u2019s a beautiful woman beside him on his butterfly!<\/p>\n

He and butterfly woman fly up, down and around, from lush to muck and back to lush. He doesn\u2019t think of the five malpractice suits he\u2019s lost; the Virginia Board of Medicine ordering him to take classes in ethics and professionalism or that he no longer has surgical privileges \u2026 comes out of his partially chemically-induced coma. Hallucinations? So what? He finds an agent, publishes his book, hits the talk shows, gets speaking gigs and book signings. Gives \u201cDiscover Your Own Proof of Heaven\u201d web courses \u2013 at $60 a head. Leads paying customers on \u201chealing journeys\u201d to Greece. A Universal movie coming soon\u2026<\/p>\n

Shine on, shine on \u2026 Almost forgot \u2013 my question: What \u2013 or who \u2013 made the Times\u2019 best seller list editor(s) put these books on the NON-fiction category?<\/p>\n

Donald W. Krueger of Cazenovia is a retired professor and active contrarian. Readers can email him at madnews@m3pmedia.com.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cazenovia Curmudgeon By Donald Kruger (Cazenovia, NY) In the bright light thus cast, I have a question for readers who, by the way, I\u2019m sure are as delighted as I am to again have in our hands these pages of real paper to turn and printer\u2019s ink to smell, no batteries required. My question concerns […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51863","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51863","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51863"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51863\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51863"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51863"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/madisoncountycourier.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51863"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}