By Gretchen Slater, MS Ed CPP-G, Prevention Education Specialist
BRiDGES-MCCASA, Oneida
(Oneida, NY – Oct. 2015) Through an adolescence eyes the world is a giant set of possibilities. They are eager to plunge into whatever comes their way and experience all they can. They want to be independent enough to make their own choices and yet they still hold on to the things that are comforting and reassuring. They are desperate to fit in with their peers and all too often have to maneuver the pressures of societal and social expectations. Truly a time of significant mental, emotional and physical growth and fortitude.
Adolescence is also the time when their first use of tobacco, alcohol and drugs typically begins. With all this turbulence and change parents and families also find themselves in a state of flux. Adolescence say they don’t need their parents help, but they do. And there are several things parents can do to help guide them thru these tough years and avoid the pressure to abuse substances.
Communication is key. There are many opportunities to talk to youth about drugs and alcohol. Conversation can happen at any time, in any place and does not have to be a formal discussion. Use the news or newspaper, movie or TV program to get the conversation started. Ask for their thoughts or opinions without trying to correct or criticize them. And encourage them to think about their own healthy choices, or what they would do in a situation and how it would impact their lives.
Set rules and boundaries for the home. This is a great exercise for a family meeting. Establish a time to sit down and talk about your expectations, and the consequences for your home regarding drugs and alcohol. Ask for your youth’s input, but be clear about what your values are.
Be supportive. Consistently let your teen know you are supporting them, and give them positive feedback and encouragement. Teens need and want to hear good things about themselves and the things they are doing in their lives. Be sure to tell them what you appreciate and what makes you proud.
Stay involved in their lives, as much as possible. Ask questions about friends, activities, school and their plans outside of the house. Parents should know what their youth are doing and who they are with. Offer supportive and non-judgmental alternatives for youth if they need a safe ride home or to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
Lastly, be nosey. Their rooms, are also part of your home. Don’t be afraid to take a look around from time to time and mention anything that may seem odd or out of the norm. It doesn’t necessarily mean reading their journal, but when you can, join them in their room for a quick conversation or to drop off laundry. It’s more about being aware and on top of any warning signs than it is about being intrusive. Let your youth know you care enough to notice what they are doing.